Hello Everyone!
I have a few items of business. First, I was shocked to hear about the American Fork High School band bus accident. My heart goes out to the Christenson family and to everyone involved in the miracle called the AF Band Program. I had the opportunity to work with Ms. Christenson, and she was a fantastic teacher and mentor for the flute students as well as the band as a whole.
On a happier note, we have transfers coming soon. Actually, this week. Today is technically the first day of the transfer, and we just received our new assignments, as well as some phone calls. That dreaded phone call, that brief ring, the recognition that President Slováček is on the line, and then the request. "How are you doing Elder?" "Well, I'm doing fine president" (Half-truth: You know that something is coming, so your heart is in your throat! You know it will be right, but the unexpected is always exciting and unnerving!) "That's good to hear. I've been praying long and hard about this assignment, and I've decided to send you to Liberec. You'll be opening a new area, and I need you to do your best to get the work moving as soon as possible. It's really cold up there in the winter, more so than elsewhere in the country, so be sure to bring your woollens." Elder anderson sighs "Whew! That doesn't sound too bad. Winter weather is my favorite. "And in addition to that," (Sudden tensing)
"We'd like you to blind in with a new missionary. (Blinding in means opening a new area from scratch) Will you train for us?"
Suddenly, Elder Anderson freaks out. The words of Elder Perry at Mission Conference return to his mind. "The most vital missionary in the formula is the trainer. If they do well, the mission does well. If they don't do well, however..." Elder Anderson abrupts the thought, as he knows the consequences of poor training are terrible indeed.
"Well, if you think I'm up to it president, then I know I can."
The phone call concluded shortly thereafter, and Elder Anderson starts thinking about his bag packing, his trip to prague, and his new work with a new greenie. It's interesting, because I've had some thoughts about both Liberec and new missionaries for the last month, but I thought that it was just pre-transfer fears. Turns out I was right, and that I'll be heading into the beautiful Czech christmas season with a new missionary, a new area, and a new responsibility. As always, I feel your prayers, but if you could turn up the volume so He can hear that much better, I'd appreciate it. I have no idea how I'm going to do this. At risk of sounding silly, 1 Nephi 3:7 comes to mind, but I still have no idea how this is going to go down. Here we go!
In interest of packing time and the oncoming craziness of getting my life stuffed into two suitcases again, I'm going to share some thoughts from a letter home recently. I hope this will help you in your realization of your place in our father's plan as well as what it means for us.
Something neat I realized last week is that there is a deeper motivation to the plan of salvation than what we sometimes consider. For instance, if we understand the plan of salvation to be all about us doing what God wants because God wants it, about going to the celestial kingdom because God says so, then we aren't quite seeing the big picture still. I was having a rather rough day (because I asked for it in prayer - warning: if you ask for God to help you take a step, he'll take off the training wheels and give you a good push so that you can go, fall, and get his help again; it works every time :P) and was feeling incredible sorrow for things. It was in a godly way, not in a self pity sense. So many people without the gospel, so many people who just aren't getting it, my own state of weakness and the need for the atonement. We really are like the handcart pioneers, trapped in coves of snow, and not even of our own effort. We then had a lesson with a woman who is very confused and very catholic. We addressed praying and the Lord's prayer as a model prayer, not The prayer to be recited. When I mentioned that something we should do when praying is forgive others, she freaked out. "NO! No! I will not forgive people who have done..." and then she listed all these things she's bitter for. She went off! I just sat there and watched her in her place as she stunted her spiritual growth. And, of course, nothing I could do would make a difference. We're meeting with her again, but she was so bitter that I could barely stand it. Magnified by my emotional state, I started wondering: Why does it matter? Is it worth it? Seems like going to heaven just means an infinity of problems and suffering, and infinity of taking care of children you may never see again. Is it worth it?
In the midst of all this thinking and feeling, I felt the spirit nudge me. This entire experience was directed by the spirit, and I knew I'd be alright, but it was still hard to consider the hard facts. Is everything I'm doing worth it? And then the spirit suggested this: That's not the right question. The correct question that builds everything from the ground up is "What do I want?" What is it that I, as an agent, want? Do I want the telestial kingdom? Terestrial glory? Do I want to spend my life doing something else? I could? Why not? And then I realized something I already knew, but as an even broader principle. "Ask and ye shall receive. Seek and ye shall find. Knock, and it shall be opened unto you." God gives us exactly what we want. If I child honestly wanted coal for christmas, would a parent bother him with a shiny new bike? Thus, the question is "What do I want, because if it's what I want, then I will get it and I will pay whatever price is asked." Then, the greatest miracle of all happens. We realize that the only way to do that is by giving God the one thing he doesn't have. He doesn't have our agency. We are free agents unto ourselves to choose light or darkness, but the greatest miracle happens when exact opposites are playing out upon us, pulling equally and oppositely on us, and we take our one grain of agency that we possess, place it on the scales, and say "I will be a child of one of these. I choose God!" And the scales of that choice tip, even though your agency is just a grain of sand. I'm doing this because I want it, and no other force in the universe can change that!
That's precisely what the savior did. "I'll do this, because thou hast given me this cup. If there is another one, I'll take it, but I love you, and I choose to take my personal grain of agency, the one thing that is uniquely mine (since God owns all the gold and land and planets and stars anyway), and I'll give it to you." Perhaps our own worship of God takes on a new meaning at this point. Worship was defined by Elder McConkie as emulation. As we are like God, we worship him. But when we emulate him and we give him the gift of ourselves, our agency, our commitment to not be a free agent like a free post high school athlete but to sign a contract, as it were, and to put ourselves on His terms for His rewards, we are doing it because We want to. Otherwise, we can do a mountain of good in the lives around us, but it won't do anything for us. We will not change if we don't give up what is ours, even if we are moving mountains. Perhaps that is why faith moves mountains, hope survives death, but Charity lasts for eternity and, if you don't have it, then the other two don't matter. An army of men can move a mountain, and everyone will get resurrected, but who gets to live for eternity? Only those who give everything, themselves, for it.
Well, I'm terrified, but excited. It's going to be a very very exciting, challenging, and adventure filled transfer. I'm so excited I can barely sit in my chair!
Good luck everyone, I hope you have just as much fun this week choosing what you want as I am. :)
Elder Brent Anderson
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